breath- the cutting edge of health and wellbeingness

The following is an excerpt from Bradley’s Bloviations, the best in news and opinions from the world’s least accurate source. Taken from Breath, the foremost lifestyle page in La Mirada.

Summer is halfway over and temperatures are skyrocketing, putting a definite damper on the fitness craze which kicks off in late May. 117 degree temperatures, however, are still not a valid reason to forgo a regularly scheduled exercise routine—in fact, one stands to lose more weight through sweat on such a warm day.

Everyone knows that integral to keeping your body in shape is maintaining a steadily high metabolism. This is easily achieved by keeping your digestive system in use at all times. One of the main causes of a slow metabolism is an empty stomach during sleep. A handful of Cheetos just before bedtime is an easy solution to this problem.

More where this came from, folks. Read it here.

Or here.

Or here.

This one will work also.

And so will this.