Special K

Has anyone ever wondered what regular K tastes like? I bet it's really good. Not that we'll ever know, since Kellogg has decided to cover up it's existence and replaced it with something they proclaim to be "special." What I want to know, is what kind of special do they mean? Is it lets-ride-the-short-bus, finger-painting-through-high-school, I-still-poop-myself-at-15 special? Or is it I'm-super-talented, everyone-loves-me, I-have-so-freaking-much-to-offer-the-world special? Either way I think we are being duped into eating a cereal that tastes like crap.

If it's the first kind of special, and I think it is, then what does that mean? Did they name it that because they think people are that stupid for buying it? Is it meant to imply that the ingestor is mentally challenged? I think they should just drop the political correctness and call it retarded K. Lets face it, they do kinda look like the "special" younger brothers of corn flakes. This way there will be no confusion when consuming the product. I mean, how will little Billy feel later in life when he finds out that the cereal he got so excited about to get as a kid because he thought it made him extraordinary was only bought for him because it was ironic and his parents got a huge kick out of it? He will probably feel exactly what he is - retarded. And also sad.

But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe special K is supposed to make you extraordinary. Well it doesn't work. I know a lot of people who eat it and they aren't so great. They aren't dumb or anything, just regularordinary. I guess that's what happens when you create a magical cereal that makes people special. Everyone becomes so special that special becomes bland, just like the taste of special K. It's a lose-lose-win-tie-lose situation, and nobody can understand what that means. Needfull to say, I'd rather have raisin bran any day of the week. And twice on Sunday.

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