Gangsta...

It's hard out here for a pimp. At least I imagine it is. I'm not a pimp myself but sometimes I pretend I am and I have to compete against all the other pimps and make sure the cops don't catch me. If it's tough just imagining you're a pimp, I bet the real thing is killer. Sometimes literally.

I'm about to share one of my personal secrets so don't laugh please. Or at least laugh quietly to yourself instead of out loud so that other people run over to the computer to see what's so funny and you have to tell them what I said then they laugh too. Don't do that. My secret dream is to someday run away to the streets of LA and start my own gang. Not in one of those run down neighborhoods where most gangs are. Those neighborhoods are dirty and dangerous. My gang would operate out of a rich, expensive looking park in the middle of a nice neighborhood. We wouldn't be a mean gang either, we would be nice people who often baked for the neighbors. We would also treat women with respect instead of leering at them all the time. We would let people join, but only if they were rich and dressed well. I think I would like a very exclusive gang that caters to people of privilege. I would hire servants to do things for the members of my gang, like get them towels and drinks and clean up after them. There would also be no violence, only lots of relaxing things like pools and golf.

I think what I'm describing may be a country club, but to say I want to be the owner of a country club sounds pretentious and wussy. Calling it "an exclusive gang based on making the rich richer and keeping the poor oppressed in an effort to segregate ourselves from society" sounds just as pretentious, but a lot more fun.